Angry Liberal Mommy

Every day there's a story in the newspapers that just pisses me off! Few forums I've visited offer civilized political discourse--they all seem to degenerate into name calling. So get angry, give your opinion, or just read 'em and weep for our warped society.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

More Random Links...Can't Get Enough!

Americans poised to be number one in...mental illness! Everyone, chant with me: "U-S-A, U-S-A!"

Oddly enough this was in the "Family" section of the newspaper. Don't forget to buy a Father's Day card for your secret, married boyfriend. He may not be the father of your children, but that's no longer a reason to forget his Special Day. Maybe it could read "As you spend time with your kids on this special day, think about how we'll be screwing in your car next week on our lunch break. Maybe then you'll impregnate me and dump that bitch you married". Obviously that's a very rough draft, but the sentiment is there. Hallmark, here I come!

MORE FUN VANITY PLATES!!!
(1) I saw one on Saturday that could take the prize: Graduating high school senior girl (if the soaped "Congrats class of '05" on the back window was any clue) driving a brand new, shiny red Mustang convertible. The vanity plate read "Brit01", but the clincher was the license plate holder: "It's not easy being a princess". Awwww. Thanks Mom & Dad, but why an American car? I want a Hummer like Jamie's (insert whine here).
(2)Sunday at grocery store: SUV with "Da Momee" on the vanity plate--gorge rising...must stop. I was picturing a really square looking, middle-aged white woman driving that one.
(3) Today, driving home from work: Souped up, late model Honda Civic...vanity plate "NU Speed", with rear window professionally covered with quotes about drag racing. With drag racing causing a bunch of deaths recently, and with cops trying desperately to stop it, is it wise to advertise?? As we know from the Simpsons, Disco Stu does not advertise.

Oh sure, let this guy into the country, but confiscate my Mom's tiny nail scissors of death!

Really? Older people less grumpy?? I love the quote about people 60 and older avoiding confrontation rather than addressing problems in relationships. Perhaps they realize that no one else is going to put up with their grumpy ass. Or maybe they've just realized that the dating scene at age 60 isn't looking like a Smirnoff Ice commercial. It's so hard to look sexy when you've forgotten to put in your teeth!

That's it for now. I need to get to bed in preperation for another day of turning down--I mean underwriting your mortgages. Seriously, people, this job has made me realize one thing over the years...mortgage brokers are generally lazy idiots. Do yourself a favor & apply somewhere online.

15 Comments:

  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger Roxy said…

    Give me an f*in break. I understand that extra-marital affairs are commonplace in America, but that doesn't make them right or something to be celebrated.

    I wonder why out censor-happy government hasn't shut this company down yet? Perhaps because they are too busy buying stockpiles of cards for their extracurricular activities?

    I wonder if the chainsaw guy had to take off his shoes when he crossed the border to check for bombs...I mean, the chainsaw thing would just bee too obvious. He must have something covert planned.

     
  • At 2:53 PM, Blogger The Disgruntled Chemist said…

    I saw a personalized plate on a Lexus here on campus this morning that said "GR8 RYD". I felt like "accidentally" running the end of my bike handlebars down the side of the car.

    Instead, I took a picture...maybe I'll post it on my blog tonight or something.

     
  • At 8:26 PM, Blogger Krys said…

    I know there's a reason I need a camera phone! We need to see these people!

    Roxy, I think chainsaw guy must have had nail scissors hidden in his shoes--the chainsaw was just a distraction.

     
  • At 8:08 AM, Blogger Weary Hag said…

    Well, since I'm an old fart, I can vouch for the fact that I HAVE indeed become more tolerant in my later years and it has little to do with thinking there's just nobody else out there for me. I've finally come to realize what I DON'T want in life anymore, so that there won't BE too many tolerance issues. That's why I don't think people should even be allowed to marry before they reach 40.
    As to the nutjob at the airport... makes me feel just SO secure now.
    And vanity plates? I saw one once that said "PHATSO" ... when the woman got out of her car, it raised up about three feet. Did we really need to advertise that?

    Great post Krys...

     
  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger The Rambler said…

    Hi there, I love your site! I followed the link from Weary Hag's blog. I'll definitely be subscribing!

    Brad.

     
  • At 3:14 AM, Blogger Weary Hag said…

    Krys, hoping everything's okay. Haven't seen a new post in a bit ~ just stopping by to say I miss your writings.

     
  • At 7:53 AM, Blogger Krys said…

    Sorry guys...This back-to-work while 9 months pregnant thing sucks! I promise to post sometime this week--unless of course I start having contractions again! That happened last week!

     
  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger publius said…

    You seemed a little to happy about that mental illness news...

     
  • At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 2:29 PM, Blogger Krys said…

    I will NOT allow advertisments on my blog (unless it is for another blog or website of a non-commercial nature).

     
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