Angry Liberal Mommy

Every day there's a story in the newspapers that just pisses me off! Few forums I've visited offer civilized political discourse--they all seem to degenerate into name calling. So get angry, give your opinion, or just read 'em and weep for our warped society.

Friday, June 03, 2005

The Ultimate In Tackiness Goes Mainstream


I don't think we can blame Star entirely for this phenomenon, but surely she bears some responsibility for making this tacky practice more "acceptable".
OK, yes I understand that people are getting married later in life these days, and often already have all the household accoutrements they need. I also understand that these people may prefer cash gifts, because it isn't customary for Mom & Dad to pay for the wedding anymore, but I think it is the ultimate in tackiness to expect your wedding guests to foot the bill for your wedding. Come help us celebrate our day...and bring your checkbook. The couple in the article seemed to be whining about spending $30,000 on their wedding---well...who said you HAD to spend that much? It was their decision to have a big wedding, so they shouldn't complain about not having enough for a honeymoon.

My husband & I got married 3,000 miles away from our home State. There were about 10 people at our wedding. We paid for almost everything ourselves despite subtle hints from my Mother-in-law about how it was "traditional" for the bride's family to pay for everything. I felt strongly about paying for it myself for several reasons: 1.) As a grown woman who had left my Dad's house and was supporting myself, I didn't think it was fair to go back to him & demand a wedding. 2.) I knew Dad didn't have the money, 3.) I didn't want to have to acquiesce to anyone else's wishes simply because they were holding the purse strings. We simply planned a wedding we could afford & put off the honeymoon until we could save enough for a trip. Greg's Mom & Dad paid for the Rehearsal dinner and the flowers because that's what is "traditional". My Dad paid for the church & Minister. We paid for the rest. My dress was off-the-rack $99.00.

The article in the paper really sounds like it is making excuses for this money grabbing trend. Sorry, I agree with Emily Post on this one. Have a wedding you can afford. If you want cash gifts, have your family put the word out, but for God's sake, don't put it on the invitations. I won't even get started on the whole "sponsorship" issue, because there is no way to make it sound like a good idea. This is the breakdown of society, people, we have to fight against this whole era of entitlement, irresponsibility, and selfishness!!

The whole point of a wedding celebration is to invite your GUESTS to share in your joy. Doesn't the word "guest" imply that you are responsible for taking care of them? They bring you gifts as a gesture, and to help you out--they are not obligated to give you cash, or even to buy from your registry.

Check out this fun website--Etiquette Hell. Read the wedding sections for true horror stories about brides, families, and weddings from Hell.

Bottom line: Stop whining! Stop feeling like everyone owes you. Be happy you are marrying someone you love, that you have your friends and family with you, and that they care enough to give you a gift.

 Posted by Hello

77 Comments:

  • At 4:32 AM, Blogger Chickie said…

    Complete agreement with your "Bottom line".

    I've always thought that wedding gifts were to help a new couple get started. I think it's just rude to ask folks to finance something especially if you've been living on your own.

    What about the spinsters that never get married? Aren't they getting gypped out of free stuff?

     
  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger layne said…

    Yes, those of us won't/can't get married are getting gypsied!When my sister got hitched, my dad gave her a cow! A whole cow! What do I have? Nuthin'!

     
  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger Greg said…

    Now I want a cow. You wacky Canadians!

     
  • At 2:54 PM, Blogger layne said…

    Hmmm...maybe my Cow-Of-The-Mooonth Club wasn't such a bad idea after all...

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Blogger Krys said…

    Greg, doesn't your Mom sponser a cow (yes, I'm serious) on some farm in Wisconsin or ohio? Remember, she went to "visit" it?

     
  • At 8:00 AM, Blogger Weary Hag said…

    I totally agree that once a girl moves away from her parents' home, the parents are no longer obligated to pay for the wedding.
    I also have a personal "issue" about the whole wedding registry deal. Dont' tell me where to buy your gift and give me a list of things to choose from. Baloney. If I'm attending your wedding it's to wish you well and bring a gift (or give money) of choice.
    I pay absolutely NO MIND to wedding, shower or any sort of registries mentioned in invitations.

     
  • At 7:33 PM, Blogger Krys said…

    Actually, two of the best baby gifts I received for my first child was not from the registry!

    I won't get started on those people who have a shower for each kid!

     
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